12:45 am

The best thing about the night is that there are no background noises. Besides the mere sound of water drops in the water filter in the kitchen. The sound of my dog’s breath. And the insects, of course. If these don’t bother you, it’s almost peaceful. But right now, peace is ambiguous to me. Because the background noise is scathingly running inside my head. I know I must do something to have control. Last night, I tried to distract myself from it. One of the help sites asked me to count numbers to fall asleep. I tried counting odd numbers. I remember reaching around 683 or something. It was hectic.