In the end it’s certain that you will lose. You have known it. So, what was life really about? Was life about passing the road through whatever that was offered? Misery? Melancholy? Uncertainty? Minute amounts of sheer happiness? Or was it more than just passing through it?
If you are wise enough to notice, there had always been only one player in the game of the win and lose. And that is you. There was, majestically no one that could ever challenge you. Your battle was with your own conscience. Your mind has always been too clever. Your conscience often changes shapes into whatever suits the situation. She is a betrayal. So, do you still think you will lose? If your conscience tells you so, why on earth would you believe it? The under-estimation you do to yourself and the over-estimation that you place on others’ shoulders is one of your major problems. And your mind keeps taking the advantage, to cut you into further smaller pieces, to strip you off from the little values you saved for yourself.
So, stop listening to that voice. Make it stop. Tell it that you don’t care. Whether you lose or she loses, it’s the same after all. Ask her to be on the same side. There is no right or wrong. There is no such thing as absolute truth. Believe in your own truth as long as it makes you look beyond the horizon. You are your own judge. Tame yourself to believe in you. It’s just you for yourself. There is no one else. The sooner you realize it, the better.