There is an intense wave of sadness flowing through all the cells in my body. An undesirable, undeniable, undescribable form of gloominess. I just want to scream out loud or may be cry my heart out. I can feel all the tears collecting up in my eyes waiting to be released from the scrutiny I am piling over it. I am a stupid person, doing the wrong things, dreaming of extremely fantasized tales and hoping for the least possible things that are likely to happen to happen. I keep trying to wear other’s shoes. I keep trying to be the saint I am not. And the tasteless shit I have been enduring each day of my life is what presents to me on so called another new day. So, lately I am giving up. On whatever I am offered. I am stopping myself from being fascinated by the magic I believed everything carried. See, the lesser the connection, the better I thought. But surprisingly, the more lonelier I have become. The funny thing about sadness is it reciprocates around you. The darkness spreads around and echoes back to you in a stronger force than before. Everything feels dull. Pure dull. Everything appears worthless. It seems as if we spend our energies into hollow hopelessness. Today. Tomorrow. And every other day, yet to arrive.
This makes no sense, I understand. But right now, nothing exactly seems to make any sense to me to be true.
( I feel extremely terrible for making you all read this. I am in the worst state of mind lately. No sympathies expected. I promise to write something better the next time.)