I wonder of all those things people write about in pages that never see the light of the day. I wonder of all those feelings one pours into diaries and let them remain hidden under pillows or shoved behind locked vaults. I believe those are one of the most beautiful things ever created. The works of art as such, holds the purity of each of our minuscule emotions. As we sit down with ourselves and open up our minds in front of a blank paper, we become bold. We become fearless. We turn into courageous beings. The words one chooses to select when they are relieved of the fear of being judged by others self explains their truest depth.
But are those emotions of any worth I wonder if they are never to be shared. In a world where we shout out loud of everything we do, everywhere we go, of what we eat or drink, does our secret insights, our lurking thoughts carry any significance?
I sit here under the shade of a tree in an open field near my house with a pen and a diary. The pages I am filling about the magnificent smile of this guy who smiles at me whenever we cross paths, I wonder what more importance do they have than just of mere leaves falling in the ground? Smiles fade away. People somehow get disappeared into places where my careless attention become unreachable and then I surely and shamelessly stumble upon writing about someone else. A new smile shall fill the pages and slowly his radiant smile may unknowingly be forgotten.
I will forever remain a creepy lurker. A momentary lover. A well wisher in disguise. Until the time comes, I know I shall keep writing about his extraordinary smile, his innocent wave of hand when he means to say hey or goodbye at the same time and his precise silence that fills my heart with unending noise. Even though these mean nothing more than my unnecessary emotions, I will waste as much ink and paper as I can. I understand every story has to have an end. We all strive the best for our stories to have a good ending. I find it fascinating and sad that my stories tend to have no precise beginning.